Standing on the Shoulders

Day 30

It’s been thirty days since I stopped drinking, so I thought I’d reflect on what has changed. Let’s see…my vocabulary has improved thanks to Fitzgerald, Twain, and Hemingway. Which reminds me, for those who decide to take a break from drinking, you might also want to stay clear of Hemingway as his stories are chalked full of debauchery on practically every page.

Well I guess the biggest change that I’ve encountered has been the loads of free time that I have now, which I am trying very hard to fill with productive activity but I still find myself bored way to much. I guess also being unemployed, not having a car, and crazy insomnia also contribute to that boredom to some degree. Speaking of insomnia, which sucks by the way for those who haven’t had the pleasure of it, the one good thing is the massive amounts of time you get to reflect on all that which you have fucked up in your life.

But lucky for me, being the adhd person that I am, I can never dwell and lament to long on what has happened without my mind wondering to what I can do to make things right again, both with my life and for others. That alone is a driving force of change in and of itself.

I will leave you with a quote from Albus Dumbledore: “We must try not to sink beneath our anguish, but battle on.”